updates... 

school is starting next monday.. although i have no idea how will it be like back to school after 3 yrs of ding-dong here and there.. im still looking forward to it.. should be exciting i guess = )

lotsa events/performance coming up for Music Clinic !! 

24th July Friday

Peter Lao Shi will be performing at VivoCity !! 

Time: 8pm-1030pm 

Venue: VIVOCITY AMPHITHEATRE, LEVEL 3 

Admission is free entry is on a first come first serve basis. Due to limit seating capacity, only the first 1,200 people will be allowed into the main amphitheatre.

25th July Saturday

Food Festival Performance by Music Clinic Students 

Venue: Central Fountain @ Clarke Quay

Time: 10pm to 10.30pm

8th August Saturday

A Night With Music Clinic !!!

Venue: Music Clinic

Time: 9pm

this is the very first time Music Clinic organize music camp for their students !! = ) there will be lotsa music related games and activities through out the entire nite !! sure gonna be fun fun and more fun !!! Music Clinic Staffs, Instructors and the Performing Artistes will all be joining in the fun !! =) 

ok.. enough of the events..

back to ME !!

life is still the same.. ups and downs here and there.. else life will be boring... but nobody likes it when the downs are here... = ( honestly.. i have not been the cheerful and bubbly mei wei lately... daddy is sick and needs operation next week.. everybody is worry especially mummy.. and this means financially will be weak everything needs money and this will make my parents more worry and headache.. = ( i feel useless bcuz financially i cant do much.. the only thing i can do is earn my own pocket money which i have been doing for the past years.. i dont earn big bucks like my sisters so as they can give a fixed amount to my parents on a monthly basis.. even if so, my sisters have their own family to feed, other expenses to take care as well.. and i still have a younger bro who is still schooling. i know.. all these are not big deals.. but its already enough for ppl to struggle.. especially my parents.... 

another thing... i feel useless bcuz.. it seems like everybody around me.. is so..... talented... its either they have a real good skill.. or their knowledge is excellent.. or they are so capable in wad they are doing... i look at myself... "what kinda shyt am i...." demoralized i feel.... i have been wondering.. if going back to school is the right choice for me... to learn something new so as to be better.. or staying as it is and try to work something out... i dunno wad's good for me as im too afriad to look what's going to happen.. courage i need.. confidence i need.. 

at times i'll wonder... if you go extra mile for ppl... all the time... is it really worth it? they may not appreciate you and tendency of them taking you for granted is indeed very high.. so is it worth it? and how to make ppl know that they should appreciate and be thankful that these ppl are willing to go the extra mile for them? saying "thank yous" are easy.. but showing them.. is it as easy? 

useless piece of shyt.......

confident confident confident !!! i need confident !!!! = (( 

life is really short. and time passes so fast. when u are aware, its already too late. so much more to learn, yet so little time. how am i going to improve. how am i going to explore and game for the challenges ahead. so many things that i wanna do, but so little time. 

little time is excuses. trying is just a noisy way of not doing something. 

3 months !! 3 months of working with a bunch of crazy and crappy ppl in a call centre is fun fun fun and more fun !! haha im going to miss evveryone of them.. going to miss every single second at work !! = ) i'm already used to 3 months of waking up early, go to work, knock off at 6pm, go home or go dinner. now.. its all back to square 1 again ! haha feel kinda lost that i dont have to wake up early for work. but !! 2 to 3 more weeks i'll be starting school !! hm.. another think to adpat to again. i guess school's gonna be fun? school is always fun ! haha apart from the work related stuffs.. this 2 to 3 months also made me a champion of the redsun pte ltd karaoke competition !! :D:D super eggcited can !! hahaha other than this competition i joined the taiwan PK and Kovan superstar too !! wahhaha and i didnt get into finals for both :D:D which i think its good enough to reach the semi-finals.. and im not a least bit disappointed bcuz i know there are lots and lots of real good singers out there !! way to go !! i got so much more to learn !! =)))))

alrite.. i hope that explains why im gone missing for so long =P till then !!! :D

for all i know, this isnt my fault. i am not going to apologise for it. if my life is meant to be this way, there's nothing i can do to avoid it or change it. as much as i hate it, there is nothing i can do !!!! so stop making things difficult for me and as if its my fault. i really dont wish things to happen this way. i tried to be hard-heart, i tried to be selfish, i tried to not think for others, i tried not to show any signs of care and concerns for anybody, i tried to be the worst fren ever and i even tried to be a horrible person !! by doing all these isnt making me feel any better, things aren't going well or as wad i wanted !! everytime i harded my heart on anyone or anything, they just keep coming. everytime i turn away from frens, they come reaching for the bottom of my heart.

i dont want to hurt anybody. if i did hurt u, i am truly sorry, i really am.

i was wrong. all this while i thought i am right. i was wrong. i must stop. stop avoiding. it's time. time to face the reality. but i'm afraid. afraid.. of so many things. so afraid.. till.. i'd rather keep everything to myself. that's when i thought i'm right. so it's a cycle. i was wrong.  

im afriad..