im a very kiasu person.. i shall not deny.. always wanting to aim for the best out of the best in everything every area.. giving myself unnecessary stress and pressure..
in my previous entry.. i mentioned that i felt like a piece of shyt bcuz everyone around me is like super talented.. and i look at myself in the mirror.. who am i.. wad am i made of.. wad's within me.. what am i looking for.. what do i wanna achieve.. so many questions.. so demoralized.. i still feel the same.. as in now.. still feel like shyt all the time.. i always think that i know nothing.. a very useless person.. am always not as good as others.. one day.. i was having lesson.. and lecturer asked us to draw something.. be creative and design something and explain.. i actually panicked.. i dunno wad to draw.. my mind went blank.. i look around.. everybody on the track already.. some talking disturbing each other.. some working hard on their piece of paper.. and me... looking around feeling so sian.. then it suddenly hit me.. why are these ppl so relax.. why am i thinking so much... why am i always giving myself the unnecessary stress and pressure.. why cant i just relax and stop thinking so much and just do it !! then i tell myself... this is where my confident must come in... there is no right or wrong.. others may think my work is not fantastic.. but i am and i can be confident to say that "no! i think my work is fantastic!" ..like wise.. i may think that their work isnt good.. but they think its superb! so whats there to be afraid of.. confidence confidence... your holiday is up.. its time to come back... this apply in everything in our life... whether its school, work, friends and family.. i think its all the same... dont have to think so much.. just do it and keep on moving.. bcuz time waits for noone.. dont be too hard on yourself !!! loosen up !!!!

updates... 

school is starting next monday.. although i have no idea how will it be like back to school after 3 yrs of ding-dong here and there.. im still looking forward to it.. should be exciting i guess = )

lotsa events/performance coming up for Music Clinic !! 

24th July Friday

Peter Lao Shi will be performing at VivoCity !! 

Time: 8pm-1030pm 

Venue: VIVOCITY AMPHITHEATRE, LEVEL 3 

Admission is free entry is on a first come first serve basis. Due to limit seating capacity, only the first 1,200 people will be allowed into the main amphitheatre.

25th July Saturday

Food Festival Performance by Music Clinic Students 

Venue: Central Fountain @ Clarke Quay

Time: 10pm to 10.30pm

8th August Saturday

A Night With Music Clinic !!!

Venue: Music Clinic

Time: 9pm

this is the very first time Music Clinic organize music camp for their students !! = ) there will be lotsa music related games and activities through out the entire nite !! sure gonna be fun fun and more fun !!! Music Clinic Staffs, Instructors and the Performing Artistes will all be joining in the fun !! =) 

ok.. enough of the events..

back to ME !!

life is still the same.. ups and downs here and there.. else life will be boring... but nobody likes it when the downs are here... = ( honestly.. i have not been the cheerful and bubbly mei wei lately... daddy is sick and needs operation next week.. everybody is worry especially mummy.. and this means financially will be weak everything needs money and this will make my parents more worry and headache.. = ( i feel useless bcuz financially i cant do much.. the only thing i can do is earn my own pocket money which i have been doing for the past years.. i dont earn big bucks like my sisters so as they can give a fixed amount to my parents on a monthly basis.. even if so, my sisters have their own family to feed, other expenses to take care as well.. and i still have a younger bro who is still schooling. i know.. all these are not big deals.. but its already enough for ppl to struggle.. especially my parents.... 

another thing... i feel useless bcuz.. it seems like everybody around me.. is so..... talented... its either they have a real good skill.. or their knowledge is excellent.. or they are so capable in wad they are doing... i look at myself... "what kinda shyt am i...." demoralized i feel.... i have been wondering.. if going back to school is the right choice for me... to learn something new so as to be better.. or staying as it is and try to work something out... i dunno wad's good for me as im too afriad to look what's going to happen.. courage i need.. confidence i need.. 

at times i'll wonder... if you go extra mile for ppl... all the time... is it really worth it? they may not appreciate you and tendency of them taking you for granted is indeed very high.. so is it worth it? and how to make ppl know that they should appreciate and be thankful that these ppl are willing to go the extra mile for them? saying "thank yous" are easy.. but showing them.. is it as easy? 

useless piece of shyt.......

confident confident confident !!! i need confident !!!! = (( 

life is really short. and time passes so fast. when u are aware, its already too late. so much more to learn, yet so little time. how am i going to improve. how am i going to explore and game for the challenges ahead. so many things that i wanna do, but so little time. 

little time is excuses. trying is just a noisy way of not doing something.